4 Uncommon Ways To Find “The Right One”


Her name was Shelby. I was 9 years old and she was 10 and we were in 4th grade. While I thought she was the prettiest girl I had ever seen, I like most 9 year olds had not an ounce of confidence to approach a member of the opposite sex unless it was making small talk in line at the pencil sharpener:

“What did you eat for lunch today?”


“Me too. ”

Yes, I was hopelessly awkward when it came to girls, but I couldn’t understand why. I mean sure my mom paid my lunch money and I still had no idea what “the opposite sex” even meant, but as I saw my friends begin to have boyfriends and girlfriends, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of desperate 4th grade loneliness. A friend of mine even told me, “Hang with me, and you’ll get girls!”  But I was determined to do it all on my own. And then the night came.

At a friend’s birthday party, the boys and girls sat on opposite sides of the room as was our custom, and me and the young lass made eyes across the way for what seemed like forever (15 minutes.) I had one of the girls I was friends with go and ask her, “will you be Jarred’s girlfriend?” And she came back and said “Yes. She will.” It was on.

For two solid weeks we didn’t say a word to each other, but I reveled in my 9 year old swagsmanship (I just invented that word.) Nobody had as much game as me, and when I bought her a $14 necklace that said ‘Angel,’ I felt atop of the world. One day later she sent a messenger to tell me, “Shelby said It’s over.”

“I don’t care.” I so cared.

After listening to “You’ve got it bad” by usher on repeat all week, I just knew there had to be someone else out there for me. My 10 year old girlfriend hadn’t panned out so well, but that was okay. God had The Right One for me, and It was time to hop back on the prowl.

We all take dating Cues from someone or something. Generally, culture dictates how we date. We watch the latest Nicholas Sparks film, (which is full of lies,) and then make our way through two dozen potential candidates to fulfill our every romantic desire, regardless of how incompatible, ungodly, or outright laughable the circumstances may be.

We’re a fickle human race with heavy-beating hearts filled with love for just one person. And it is our understanding that we must do WHATEVER it takes, to find that one. While most singles drive the wide highway paved by culture towards their hopeful mate and experience aLOT of heartbreak, crushed dreams and unfulfilled expectations, there will be a few that take the road less travelled: the uncommon path which, when followed closely, can lead us straight past all the distractions, into the arms of “The Right One.”

Here are Four Uncommon Ways to Find The Right One:

 1. Stop Looking for Them.

Woah, woah, woah, woah. . . Hold up! Just Stop?!?

Yup. Stop. Stop spending all your time mindlessly worming your way through the hearts of every single male/female you meet, doing the romance dance while only hitting a brick wall when you find out your totally incompatible. It’s NOT going to work! Don’t believe me? Well how successful have you been up to this point?!?!

I remember when God began to speak to me about this. I was in my daily Bible Reading and came across Jesus’ words in Matthew 6:33:

“Seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and ALL these things will be added to you.”

I think we can mostly agree that Jesus was a pretty wise fellow, not that he was also God or anything, and that he might have just a small clue what he’s talking about.

Seek God, you get things. Seek things, you get neither. Click To Tweet

So I sought God and quit looking for the right person. You’re on good ground when you take this approach because if you remember, God brought Eve to Adam. He didn’t just get up and go looking for her! Now the common argument I hear against this line of thinking is: “There’s so many people in the world! How will I find the right one if I don’t go looking!?” Fair question. I’d only ask in reply, “Do you seriously think you stand a chance in finding your one out of 8 billion??? Good luck :)”

What are you looking for? If it’s a mate, you’ll probably come up short-handed. But if you’re seeking God and willing to wait until God brings that person into your life, then you’ll come out with plenty to celebrate.

2.  Make a List (check it twice)

The most important decision you’ll ever make besides giving your life to Jesus Christ is who you marry. It’s not your job. It’s not your car. It’s not your house. It’s not your church. Why? Because all of these things are things, but a person is a person and a person can harm you, hurt you, strengthen you, love you, and even make you better!

That’s a big investment to make.

But oftentimes, we give not even a fraction of planning and preparation to who we’re going to marry as we do to which college we’ll attend, what scholarships we pursue, our career path or our financial budget.

I’ve often found that God is into specifics. Not just vague details. Sure you want a wife. But what kind of wife? What characteristics would you like her to have? What type of interests will you share? Where will she be at spiritually? Should she want kids? How many? Will she be career-driven? Stay at home? Exactly what is the desire of your heart?

Decide it. Then write it. Make it Plain. (Habakuk 2:2)

Now watch God answer your prayers in a higher way than you can even imagine!

3. Wait for The Right Time

When I was in 4th grade, my girlfriend was the one.

When I was in 5th grade, my girlfriend was the one.

When I was in 6th grade, my girlfriend was the one.

When I was in 7th grade, my girlfriend was the one.

10th grade? Same thing.

Except it wasn’t. How do I know this? Because I married only ONE wonderful woman, and she wasn’t any of them! In fact, we never even went on a date until we were married! But boy, that’s a whole nother’ story.

The right person at the wrong time is the wrong person. Only the right person at the right time is the right person. 

All throughout the Bible we see no example of casual dating: “We’re 15, we spend every day together, and we’ll just have fun and love each other until we get married 10 years from now.” Nope. Try me. It’s not in there.

No, we see something far greater. We see people save themselves, wait and then spend a little time getting to know each other as they seek God’s will and sign. When he speaks, they enter covenant, and they glorify God and love one another until they die.

When will you get married? Think about it, and if you’re nowhere near that season, then it’s not your season. Song of Solomon wasn’t lying when it said over and over again, “Don’t stir up or awaken love until it’s time.” Until it’s time, you’re just playing with matches. Try not to get burned.

4. Be a Friend,  Not a Flirt

Hollywood teaches us that relationships start something like this:

“Let’s go out sometime.”


I suppose it could work. But what if your date is horrible!?!? Now hear me out, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a man making his intentions known early on and being clear. If anything i strongly encourage it. The friend-zone is NO fun. But there is something special about getting around someone for a good amount of time, learning their interests and relating to them before you pull the love trigger. Regardless of what culture says, friends and relationships are not entirely different realities. If you’re going to live in the same house with somebody for the rest of your life, you’re going to want them to be YOUR BEST FRIEND. Trust me. So be a friend first, flirt later. It works great that way 🙂


Question: What do you think? Any strategies you’d add to this list? Have you found these uncommon ways to be helpful or hurtful? Leave a comment below and let me know you thoughts! Share this blog and follow me on twitter and periscope for more content.


  1. Hi I am so delighted I found your weblog, I really found
    you by error, while I was browsing on Aol for something else, Anyhow I am
    here now and would just like to say thank you for a marvelous post and a all round thrilling blog (I
    also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to
    go through it all at the moment but I have book-marked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read
    much more, Please do keep up the excellent

  2. Hiya very nice web site!! Guy .. Excellent ..
    Wonderful .. I’ll bookmark your website and take the feeds
    additionally? I am satisfied to find numerous helpful information here
    within the publish, we need develop more strategies on this regard, thank you for sharing.

    . . . . .

  3. I thinhk the admin of thks site is actually working hard in favor of his web site,
    for the reason that here every stuff is quality based data.

  4. Remarkable! Its genuinely amazing article, I have
    got much clear idea about from this post.

  5. Howdy! I’m at work browsing your blog from my new iphone!
    Just wanted to say I love reading through your blog and look forward to all
    your posts! Carry on the great work!

  6. Hey there, You’ve done a great job. I will certainly digg it and personally recommend to my friends.
    I’m confident they’ll be benefited from
    this site.

  7. Excellent way of describing, and nice article to get facts regarding my presentation subject matter,
    which i am going to present in university.

  8. Amazing things here. I’m very happy to look your article.
    Thanks a lot and I am looking forward to touch you. Will you kindly drop me a mail?

  9. Hi there, its nice article on the topic of media print, we all be aware of media is a fantastic source of

  10. A type of bacteria residing in the large intestine is also
    capable of producing some types of B vitamins.
    Essential oils are natural extract unlike some fragrance oils that are manmade.
    ‘ Now bring the mixture to the boil and let it simmer for about 15 minutes (be careful ‘ it is VERY
    hot), stirring and scraping the bottom of the pan constantly.

  11. Helpful info. Lucky me I found your website accidentally, and I’m surprised why this twist
    of fate didn’t came about earlier! I bookmarked it.

  12. I love what you guys are up too. This sort of clever work and reporting!
    Keep up the wonderful works guys I’ve incorporated
    you guys to our blogroll.

  13. whoah this weblog is excellent i really like studying your posts.
    Stay up the good work! You understand, a lot
    of people are looking round for this info, you could help them greatly.

  14. Great web site you have got here.. It’s difficult to find good
    quality writing like yours nowadays. I honestly appreciate individuals like you!
    Take care!!

  15. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on moncler jassen. Regards

  16. ‘Are people really searching online for my product or services’.
    So what are you going to put in their search box is “website optimization tips”.

    But it is extremely important that anyone looking to hire an SEO professional be aware of the differences.
    This mode of advertisement was faster than the earlier ones and reached more people
    but it had its own limitations.

  17. This is a really good tip especially to those fresh to the blogosphere.
    Simple but very accurate info Appreciate your sharing this one.
    A must read post!

  18. I do not leave a lot of remarks, however i did a few searching and wound up here 4 Uncommon Ways To Find
    The Right One – Jarred Moss. And I actually do have 2 questions for you if it’s allright.
    Is it just me or does it give the impression like some of the comments look like they are coming
    from brain dead visitors? 😛 And, if you are posting
    on additional sites, I’d like to keep up with everything new you have to post.
    Could you make a list of every one of your social pages like your twitter
    feed, Facebook page or linkedin profile?

  19. Great beat ! I wish to apprentice while you amend your web site, how can i subscribe for a blog site?
    The account helped me a acceptable deal. I had been a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided bright clear idea

  20. There’s certainly a lot to learn about this issue.
    I love all of the points you have made.

  21. This design is incredible! You certainly know how to
    keep a reader amused. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to
    start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Fantastic job.

    I really enjoyed what you had to say, and more than that, how you
    presented it. Too cool!

  22. It’s awesome to visit this site and reading the views of all friends
    concerning this post, while I am also eager of getting familiarity.

  23. What i do not understood is if truth be told how you are not actually a lot more well-preferred than you may be now.

    You’re very intelligent. You know therefore considerably in terms of this topic, made me in my view consider it
    from numerous various angles. Its like women and men aren’t involved until it is one thing to do with Woman gaga!
    Your personal stuffs great. All the time care for it up!

  24. What i don’t understood is actually how you are now not actually much more neatly-appreciated than you might be
    right now. You’re very intelligent. You realize therefore significantly with regards to this matter, produced me in my view consider
    it from numerous various angles. Its like women and men aren’t
    interested unless it is one thing to accomplish with Girl
    gaga! Your own stuffs great. All the time handle it up!

  25. I seldom leave a response, but after looking at a few of the responses here 4 Uncommon Ways To Find
    The Right One – Jarred Moss. I actually do have
    2 questions for you if it’s allright. Is
    it just me or do some of these responses come across as if they are written by brain dead individuals?

    😛 And, if you are writing at additional online social sites, I’d like to follow you.

    Would you list of every one of all your social networking sites like your twitter feed, Facebook
    page or linkedin profile?

  26. I tend not to drop many comments, however i did some searching and wound up here 4 Uncommon Ways
    To Find The Right One – Jarred Moss. And I do have a couple of questions for you if you tend not to mind.

    Is it just me or does it look like a few of the comments come
    across like they are coming from brain dead individuals?
    😛 And, if you are writing at additional places, I’d like
    to keep up with everything new you have to post.
    Could you list of every one of your shared pages like your twitter feed, Facebook
    page or linkedin profile?

  27. You ought to take part in a contest for one of the greatest sites on the web.
    I most certainly will highly recommend this blog!

  28. Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It
    actually was a leisure account it. Glance complex to
    far introduced agreeable from you! However, how can we communicate?

  29. It’s really a nice and helpful piece of information. I’m glad that you just shared this useful info
    with us. Please stay us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.

  30. Seems ridiculous but I am quickly attracted to games in the Gain 10 retailer that provide Xbox results, if they’re not blame I’ll generally get them-and provide it a spin. I’ll prob get them if they’re
    several bucks,.

  31. Hurrah! Finally I got a blog from where I be able to genuinely get helpful information regarding my study and knowledge.

  32. What’s up colleagues, good paragraph and good urging commented at
    this place, I am genuinely enjoying by these.

  33. Amazing! Its actually awesome paragraph, I have got much clear idea concerning from this piece of writing.

  34. Remarkable issues here. I am very happy to see
    your post. Thanks a lot and I am taking a look forward
    to touch you. Will you please drop me a mail?

  35. Even if there is a violation, she said, it’s probably merely a technical error that will probably ‘t be prosecuted or investigated from the House ethics
    committee tour Fargo emergency cash advances help people
    take control of these own financial needs and remove the stress of not always having emergency available funds.

  36. With havin so much written content do you ever run into
    any issues of plagorism or copyright infringement?

    My website has a lot of completely unique content I’ve either
    created myself or outsourced but it appears a lot of it is popping it up all
    over the web without my agreement. Do you know any ways to help protect against content from
    being stolen? I’d really appreciate it.

  37. I am really loving the theme/design of your weblog. Do you ever run into any browser compatibility problems?
    A couple of my blog audience have complained about my blog not working
    correctly in Explorer but looks great in Firefox. Do
    you have any suggestions to help fix this issue?

  38. I quijte like reading a pst that can make people think.
    Also, many thanks for allowing mme to comment!

  39. Naturally, Bad Credit Loan Payday No Check simple to have pay
    day loans is normally just what you ought to spend on whatsoever unforeseen price finds its
    way to your life concert ottawa tickets occupation will most likely place anyone inside jogging to acquire that loan.

  40. All you may need to complete is grant clearance to the online lender to deduct the amount you borrow from the given banking account when is the
    concert in pei usually, application for a payday advance loan without credit assessment is entirely
    done online, that enables one to efficiently compare costs and.

  41. Oh my goodness! Incredible article dude! Thank you so much, However I am having problems with your RSS.
    I don’t understand why I am unable to join it. Is there anybody getting identical RSS problems?

    Anybody who knows the solution will you kindly respond?

  42. Very quickly this web page will be famous among all blogging
    viewers, due to it’s nice content

  43. Cash Fast We have observed advertisements for quick cash loans every
    single day Cash Fast Win Tickets there are myriad explanations behind the uptick in loan growth, including more customers taking benefit from ultra-low interest levels and
    borrowers in demand for cash drawing on their credit lines.


Your email address will not be published.